Dear Kannon:: 1-Year Old

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To My Wild Child, Kannon

It is hard to believe that one year ago I was rocking through contractions, embracing labor, and experiencing a rush of doubt, uncertainty, fear, and love.  Will I be a good mother? What will you look like? What kind of child will you be?  But with each 'what if' I grew more and more anxious to meet your little face.  At 9:24pm on Wednesday October 28, 2009 I became a mother and my life was forever changed---by you. 

You were everything that we dreamed.  Perfect, peaceful, and content.  You were placed on my chest and I fell in love.  Your soft hair, fleshy skin, and sweet smell enveloped me.  We spent hours just gazing at you silent but proud and totally in love.

It wasn't long before you showed us your personality.  You fought the swaddle, preferred independence, and spent hours observing the world around you.  You are creature of habit, you like your routine, and let us know (quite loudly!) if we have skipped a step in your day.  Your smile is charming, your laugh contagious, and your eyes offer wisdom beyond your year. 

We were nervous about becoming parents but you encouraged us and supported us in our journey.  Together we learn , grow, and fall more in love. We watch you smile, laugh, and giggle and we know that we are doing our job.  We gave you life but you have showed us how to live. 

We are not perfect.  We learn every day.  We sometimes skip diaper changes, let you cry just a few more minutes, or give you leftovers for dinner.  Sometimes, we tempt you and let you go for those stairs or encourage you to walk just a bit further and then watch you fall.  But still you love us and each time, you stand up and hold yourself together.

You are strong, wild, independent, free spirited and crave adventure.  

I never thought my favorite thing on Saturday would be rolling on the floor barking just to hear you laugh.  I never thought I would be eating sweet potatoes every day just because they are your favorite.  I never thought that I would be a mother to two boys, let alone one! 

With each passing day you grow and learn even more.  With each passing day we learn more about life, love, and parenthood.  You are the greatest gift the world has given me.  Not only were you born on your birth day, but I came alive and finally became a mother on your birth day.  It has only been a year but I feel that we have known each other lifetimes.  Remember always, to smile, be silly, and love on this momentous day.

Love Always,
Mama