and....history repeats itself

Sit down, relax, and remember to breathe because.......



We are pregnant...AGAIN!

That's right folks. After 4 pregnancy tests (because the first simply wasn't good enough) weeks of denial, shock, and disbelief we finally went to our doctor. We walked the hall of shame, embarrassed that we were returning so soon after Kannon was born only be greeted with smiles, congratulations, and humor.

Kannon is going to be a big brother.

We saw the heartbeat, took measurements and found out that we are due with baby #2 October 1, 2010. That means I am almost 9 weeks pregnant and Kannon and this little bean will be less than a year apart.....irish twins anyone????


Baby#2 at 8 weeks 6 days


Baby#2 at 8 weks 6 days....thank god there is only one in there!

We are thrilled. We have know idea how this happened as we were using every precaution possible but we couldn't be more excited for this happy little accident.

The best part. On this day last year, we woke up at 4 am to pee on stick and we found out we were pregnant with Kannon. Today is good day. January is a fertile month and October is quite possibly the best month of the year.


Last year's little surprise


Our 8 week ultrasound with Kannon

So here comes trouble because we are going to be parents.....all over again!

Mama Vents....

Tuesdays are rough. On Tuesdays I wake up remembering that I still have four days left until the weekend, its not really a new week anymore, I am tired...blah, blah, blah. I hate Tuesday.

Last night, I slept, interrupted every two hours by insanely vivid dreams, a baby crying, and a husband who snores, coughs, and whines every 10 minutes.


Dear Husband,

You think you are stinky? You want to take a shower? I haven't showered in a week! And you forgot to mention that Kannon peed on my side of the bed last week.

This is your last night to sleep in? Forget it! You dont go to work until 1pm, I on the other hand have to be back at work at 8am, so good luck with that!

You dont want to get up to feed Kannon? Hah! I got up with him every night while we were in CA and you were sleeping peacefully in your big bed! Oh and did I forget to mention that I have been nursing Kannon every night since the day he was born! Your turn!

You have a headache? Your back hurts? Boo hoo, I had a back ache for 9 months and that headache I got when I before I found out I was pregnant last year....well, its still here!

(TMI) I am sorry our sex life is "not exciting". I just popped out a baby 4 months ago and I barely have time to shave my legs let alone feel attractive enough to get it on. Be happy with action you do see and if 3 times a week isnt exciting enough for you, I suggest you buy a magazine.

You want to trade me jobs? Try a whole 8-hours of Kannon to yourself. Remember what it feels like to pee, eat, drink, check emails, watch tv and kiss it good bye. Because somedays Kannon wants to be held for 8 hours. So forget free time. Its not that easy. I bet you wouldn't survive four hours.

You are upset because dinner wasn't ready. See above. You are lucky if I have had time to brush my teeth by the time you get home.

Alright, that may have been a bit cruel. Sometimes, the biggest baby is not the one wearing diapers, rather its the one sleeping next to you every night.

But seriously, I love you and Tuesdays wouldn't be the same without you. You make life interesting, more exciting, full of happiness, laughs, romance, and joy. But sometimes you also piss me off. Happy disgruntled Tuesday.

Love,
Your #1 fan,
Your best friend,
Your wife.

Mommy Moment #2

I meant to post this a few weeks ago, but I am still reliving the shame every time the UPS man comes to our door.

I was quietly nursing Kannon in preparation for a nap. Sometimes, he falls asleep while nursing and I have to quickly pop him off, lay him down, and sneak out the door without a peep. Usually, I don't have time to make sure all.....err, parts are covered.

Well, on one such afternoon, I put Kannon down, turned around and ninja'ed my way out the room being careful to avoid every loose board in our floor. I shut the door just as the doorbell rang and I quickly ran to the door to greet our UPS man.

Conversation went something like this:
Me: Hi!
UPS: errr, hello. Sign here (pointing to clip pad)
Me: Ok (struggling to keep Emma behind the door, glancing down, I noticed, one very uncovered, very public BOOB!)
Me: (laughing at this point) I bet you dont see that everyday!
UPS: (Awkwardly laughs and walks away)

A few days later the same UPS man returned, blushing before he even reached the door. This time, I made Dale answer the door. I bet he was disappointed.

Some days, being a mommy means not having a second to pee, drink water, eat, or even cover up!

and.....We are back!

After a weeklong adventure in California, enjoying sunshine, grass, and warm air, we have finally returned to our cold Montana air. We are thrilled to be home, back in our own beds, rooms filled with playmats and bouncers, and even more excited to walk naked to the bathroom in the middle of the night without fear of being caught!



Our week in CA started off great as Kannon survived the 2-hour flight to LA. He was awake the whole time checking things out around us. He loved staring at the lumberjack sitting across the aisle and I am pretty sure would have grabbed his long beard had Dale not been in the way! We finally landed and Kannon sacked out quickly in his carseat giving us a chance to savor our traditional first stop at In-n-Out. mmmmmm.....animal style.



Kannon had his share of meet & greets as he met someone new practically everyday we were there. He loved every moment of it, smiling at every friendly new face, and practically reaching out to be held! I think he has a future as loverboy....so girls watch out this boy will break your heart!







Kannon's world was turned upside down with all sorts of new activities and sights. He saw grass, the ocean, blue skies. He felt warm air and we took him swimming for the first time! All those adventure filled days left our little dude pretty pooped because for the first time he slept through the night!!!! At least almost, he woke up most nights to eat once around 3 am and then would quickly fall asleep until 7 am or so.







We had a great time and hope to return to CA again but for now, we are resting in our own beds--taking a vacation from our vacation and dreaming about our next adventure.



I have decided my blog needs a little structure so stay tuned for some much needed changes!

photo therapy:: daddy time

We are heading to California for a week and will be turning off our computer for what seems like the first time in years! Rather than leave you all in the dark, here are some photos to enjoy of Dale and Kannon and their playtime together. See you next week!

photo therapy:: woof days

A year ago today we searched the animal shelter hoping to add a new puppy to our lives. We got more than we bargained for as within a few weeks of bringing Emma home, we found out we were pregnant. Since then, we have never shared a dull moment--our lives rich, full, and happy.





Today, we celebrated one year of life with Emma. Out of a litter of 6, she was the only one who threw her little white-gloved paws at us, begging to come home. Clearly, she must of known she had a best friend growing inside my belly.



Today, Kannon and Emma are best buds. She never leaves his side, cleans his face, belly, and clothes.



Every sunny day is an opportunity to take Emma to the park and show Kannon new places in the world.





Kannon loves her licks, likes to grab her tail, and always tracks her across the room. What a blessing to expand our family with a both a dog and a baby. These two will be buds for life!

photo therapy:: blue eyes

Sometimes fatigue has a way of showing up unannounced and all of a sudden you find yourself asleep at your desk. Before I could count to 10 I found my eyes drifting into a magic wonderland with Kannon curled up beside me. When we woke up, Kannon was all smiles and refreshed blue eyes!



Capturing his smiles on camera is harder than you think and I somehow manage to miss every smile despite his slur of smiles today!



I may not be able to get a smile, but you can at least spot his beautiful blue eyes that are getting bluer by the day! I really hope they stay this way!

Adulthood

I love reading old posts. I love reminiscing, reconnecting, and evaluating myself b.c. (before child). My writing has changed. I have gone from blogging about menial adventures in my newlywed life to capturing the daily changes of my son. No more struggling to get words out--they just flow freely, full of passion and love for the being we created.

However, I stumbled upon last year's post about my birthday (http://katdale.blogspot.com/2009/01/veterinarians-birthdays-and-my.html) and my struggle to feel like an adult. I mentioned that despite my age, maturity, and responsibility I never felt a day over 16. For whatever reason, birthdays don't bring out the best in me. I guess by the time another birthday rolls around I am already thinking towards the next one. Last year, my struggle was becoming an adult. This year, I transformed. I became an adult.

Last year, I thought being an adult meant having a spare bedroom, waking up at 7:30, paying bills etc. While these things are adultish, they don't encapsulate adulthood. Rather it is a mental maturity that makes you an adult. Some people may have all the things that seem "adult" but lack the maturity to make that transformation. It is a matter of reconciling with your young at heart with your current desires and obligations. Forgoing that extra pair of shoes, in favor of paying for groceries.

I used to love drinking on Saturday nights, staying out late, avoiding my bills, putting off tire rotations and oil changes.

But I no longer desire the spontaneity and chaos of my youth. Now, I balance checkbooks, schedule appointments, clean the house, and long for the status quo. I used to miss our life in Seattle, our days of parading around carefree. I no longer miss that life. It is still a part of me, my history, and how I have come to be...but it doesn't define me and I no longer feel it tugging at my soul.

My biggest desire is to laze around, cuddling in bed with my husband and child. I don't want to answer the phone, or check my email, or go to work. I do it anyway. I do it with pride, knowing that I am keeping my family in order, providing more than just money and food, but happiness and a healthy soul.

Without being asked, I have given up my selfish desires. I have grown up. I am an adult. I put others before myself and constantly seek ways to do better. Ways to become a better wife, mother, and person. I have done all this by choice and without struggle.

Last year, I struggled with becoming an adult. This year, I am an adult. I am a mom, a wife, and so many other things. Everyday I balance my obligations and desires, knowing it will lead to a better future for both Dale, Kannon, and me. The best birthday gift I gave myself was recognizing that the struggle is over. I am content. Peaceful. Happy.