We are here....

I have been trying to blog for weeks and it seems like things have just gotten to a point where I can breathe again.  We made it to Houston, about one day before I had to start training and begin my life as a 2nd grade teacher. 

Our drive was uneventful.  The boys and animals did great, with a few minor meltdowns. 

1.) We almost ran out of gas outside Miles City, MT.
2.) We were up close and personal with a fire burning outside of Superior, MT.
3.) We got free coffee in Dickinson, ND.
4.) Kannon had a meltdown at a truck stop in Fargo, ND because he wanted to get a new toy.
5.) Clark pooped in his pants somewhere in South Dakota.....disgusting.
6.) Sioux City, Iowa was actually really nice.
7.) I got my first Starbucks of the roadtrip since leaving Seattle in Omaha, NB.
8.) The Kansas Turnpike was a zombie-land.
9.) We drove all the way from Sioux Falls, SD to Gainesville, TX in one day.
10.) When we finally got to Houston, both our kids refused to get in the car again--even to go to the park.

 Our load....it was tight!

 This car topper saved our life!

We are settled in our new house, albeit still sleeping on air mattresses until our stuff arrives from Seattle.  The boys each have their own room, we have a back yard, and plenty of room to roam.  Dale has settled in at his new job, working at Underbelly.  I am gearing up for my 3rd week of 2nd grade.  Both boys are in preschool! Whew!

I have had a lot on my mind and I hope that I have a chance to sit down and type my thoughts over the coming weeks.  So far, Houston has been everything we wanted and more, so stay tuned to more updates from H-town!

 My new school 

 Riding the Hermann Park Train

 Our new house

  We found a great dog park for Emma

The Break-Up

Dear Seattle,

Since 2004, I have loved you.  I loved your misty mornings, gray winters, and even rainy camping in July. I loved finding coffee on every street corner and knowing all the bus routes to downtown.  I became an adult in this city.  I shared awesome college experiences (some of which even I don't remember).  I loved going to festivals, farmer's markets, and catching the ferry just for fun.  I loved getting lost in Queen Anne and suddenly finding myself in Ballard.  I went crazy for your Indian cuisine and delicious breweries.  You introduced me to my best friend and set me up on many awesome dates.  Finally, I met my husband here and tried to start a life together in this city.

Then, Seattle, you and me, we broke up the first time.  We headed off to the bigger skies of Montana and quickly realized our mistake.  No amount of land and blue skies could keep us away from 24 hour grocery stores, pho, and lavender lattes.  So we reunited, this time, with a few kids in the package.

My kids loved exploring your museums and parks.  We loved the rainy days at the zoo and runs around Green Lake.  We loved eating Ube ice cream from Full Tilt and pizza at Hale's.  The boys loved running around Golden Gardens, throwing the sand over their heads and squealing when a train went by.  Then, something changed.  A little resentment towards family? A little attitude towards kids?  I mean, this city has more dogs than children.  I guess I should have seen the red flags.

Seattle, you were great to me.  But you weren't so great to my kids.  Last month, at a family establishment, I was told I should take my kids to Chuck-E-Cheese.  Last week, my kids saw a man peeing on a bus stop and tried to replicate.  Today, I had to dash between cigarette smokers and clouds of marijuana smoke during a parade.  I'm over it.  Our house is too small, but its all we can afford.  We don't have a yard and most days its too rainy to play outside.  I sat in traffic for 3 hours today and I only drove 9 miles.  I have lived here 9 years and I still don't have any friends with kids.  People are rude, especially in the morning. Food is expensive and I am tired of people rolling their eyes at me when I opt for the non-organic bananas instead of the overpriced organic ones and lecture me on the value of organic.  I know, but I'm broke from paying ridiculous rent, $4.40/gallon gas, parking fees, and can't afford to eat everything organic, I have to make choices, please don't lecture me.  So, it is time.  It is time to break-up.  I think this time, it might be real.

I have another lover.  His name is Houston.  He has offered me an awesome job, with great pay, working with great people.  He is generous with his affordable housing--most of which have backyards and two car garages for less than we pay now.  We could actually buy a house. We met last week and I fell in love.  So much diversity, culture, and class.  Sure, Houston is a little rough around some edges but it keeps the mystery alive.  And oh, I swoon every time I think of all the friendly people I met--and they all loved the kids. Texans are friendly, you knew that right?  The kids loved the sunshine and endless hours of play outside.  We caught lizards, saw parrots, and lightning bugs.  I found pho restaurants, museums, and parks. The Mexican food is undeniably delicious.  Houston also showed me a great zoo with unlimited parking. We found year-round ice skating, over 40 institutions of higher education,  and googled 11,000 restaurants.  I bought non-organic bananas and fair-trade coffee and no one blinked an eye, except to ask if I remembered to grind my beans. Lastly, Houston has a basketball team (sorry Seattle, that's still a sore subject, I know.) Did I mention, my mom, aunt, and uncle are there too? It is pretty hard to compete with Seattle. I don't expect Houston to be perfect, it's not the most beautiful city but it offers warm hearts, open lands, and fields of opportunity.

Thank you for everything.  We are leaving next month.  I am going to miss you Seattle.  I hope that we can still be friends, maybe I will visit on holidays and long weekends?  I'll keep in touch, I promise.

Love,
Kat

Some News....

Its been an exhausting year full of chaos, triumph, and struggles, and its not even June yet.  Our day consists of this crazy schedule that often involves juggling children, working, cooking, cleaning, and sleeping, if we are lucky.  Dale and I barely have a moment to ourselves to pee, let alone go on a date.  It takes patience, humor, and love to get through everyday.  Alas, we get by.

Ever since Dale and I met, I have been trying to find my way into a classroom.  I graduated with a degree in education but never went on for a 5th additional year to earn my Master's or teaching certificate.  Eventually, I became a Teach for America corps member in 2011, trained in Phoenix, and was heart-broken when our small corps was basically thrown out of Seattle leaving most of us without teaching jobs.  Feeling rather jaded by the politics of everything, I focused on my family, staying at home, working part-time, and dabbling in new fields.

Well, I finally got the courage to apply to grad school.  I was accepted to Seattle University's Master in Teaching program.  School starts September 3 and by next summer, I will have my Master's degree and teaching certificate for K-8 education.  Crazy! I am so excited to return to SU, as this is where I did my undergrad.

Now comes the hard part--figuring out how to make it all work.  Already, I have experienced struggles, stress, and disappointment and school hasn't even started yet.  I received no financial aid, except in the form of loans.  The awesome afforable preschool we currently use, is closing in June. The subsidy I thought we would qualify for to cover preschool expenses doesn't apply to those pursing Master's degree (even though it technically is "job training").  So I am at a loss.  I have no idea how we will plan or pay for childcare while I am going to school.  I feel terrible.

Right now, Dale and I barely scrape by through our current jobs.  Some months we hover just above poverty, using credit cards or put off bills to fill in the gaps.  Going back to school and getting the education and training I need to get a career will support our family, ensure our children's future, and keep us from going hungry.  Yet, I might have to sacrifice my future if we can't find a way to afford it.  I am trying to wrap my mind around this and struggling to find a way.  I have researched many different grants, scholarships, and don't qualify because we either a.) exceed income limits b.) exceed education limits c.) i'm not a single mom and some programs we don't qualify for because a.) we make too few dollars.  We are stuck in the limbo---I'm sure, like countless of other families.  I'm trying to stay positive and have hope that something will unveil itself.  It might mean taking out a loan to pay for childcare.  I'm not sure.  If any of you have suggestions, feel free to offer.

In the meantime, we are having fun in Seattle, enjoying the weather, the company of friends, and hoping it all works out

. 

The Truth...

I have been debating whether to share some very personal information on this blog.  The story I am about to share is very sensitive to me because it involves my weight loss journey, something I didn't even know the full extent of until recently.  Anyways, I have been following a classmates blog online for years now and have always been stunned by her willingness to be honest about something many of us struggle with--especially to be young and overweight.  I was inspired by her transformation and realized it was time to share my story.  So it begins: how I gained and lost 90 lbs.  Yes, 90lbs.  I am still coming to terms with that number.

All through high school and college, I had body image issues.  I think like every woman, I thought I was fat, even when I wasn't.  Yes, I wasn't a runway model, but looking back at those pictures make me wish I had more confidence back then.  I should have been wearing skinny jeans but instead I was hiding under bohemian skirts and flowy tops--self-conscious of my body. As most stories go, my junior year of college, I was stressed out, busy with school, and lining up beers and pizza to compensate.  So, I put on a few pounds.  I don't really know how much.  I never weighed myself I just knew my size 8 jeans were suddenly feeling tight.  Towards the end of my senior year, I met my husband, who wined and dined me all around Seattle which added some more love to my lovehandles.  I was a size 12 when we got married.  I wasn't thrilled about gaining weight but I made no effort to lose it. 

My wedding dress in 2008 

Then, I got pregnant.  I was weighed at my first doctors appointment and was shocked to see such a big number: 177lbs.  I didn't feel that big.  Surely, I must have had big bones, right? That number climbed and climbed and by the time Kannon was born I was weighing in at 202 lbs.  Scary, right? My doctor never mentioned anything to me and I didn't feel overweight.  I was breastfeeding and assumed I would lose weight, until.....I got pregnant again.

 Pregnant with Kannon.  D-Day!

I hadn't even lost my pregnancy weight when I got pregnant again.  I was not only breastfeeding but pregnant again.  I was technically eating for 3 and consuming 2500 calories a day.  I tried not to be hard myself.  I stopped looking at the scale somewhere around 32 weeks and 220 lbs.  I recently came across my labor and delivery file from Clark's birth.  When I read through the documents I sank feeling ashamed, disgusted, and disappointed.   The nurse wrote in my file that "fetal monitor was hard to place because of patient's obesity".  Ouch.  Obese.  A word I never thought would be applied to me.  Hello, I was pregnant! But, she was correct.  At 41 weeks pregnant I weighed 252 lbs.  I carried these thoughts with me for a few days feeling depressed.  I must have had some crazy hormones because through both pregnancies and after, I felt beautiful at the time, never concerned about weight.  Only now, when I look back and see the photos do I realize just how much weight I had gained.

41 weeks with Clark. 252 lbs.

6 months post-baby, 225 lbs.

In November 2012, I got serious about weight loss.  I researched blogs, diets, and exercise routines.  In November, I weighed in at 189 lbs.  Not great, but certainly down 63 lbs from the year before! I thought we had a great diet as we ate local, organic, and homemade breads, cheeses, and yogurt.  I did more research on the Paleo Diet and decided it was time to eliminate processed foods, sugar, and grains from our diet.  In order to prepare for a transition to our new diet, I did the Master Cleanse.  I wanted a clean slate, flush my body out, and I heard positive things from so many.  For 7 days, I drank a concoction of maple syrup, lemon juice, and cayenne pepper, followed at night with a, errrrr, laxative tea and salt water flush.  I wasn't concerned about the weight loss as I was more excited about resetting my palate and cravings.  It worked.  By the end of the 7 days (and even now) I stopped craving sweets and everything tasted salty to me.  We began our Paleo journey and by January I had lost another 10 lbs.

In January, a friend of mine posted about C25K.  If she could do it, so could I.  I was never really a runner but I was committed to learning how.  My cousin and I set out and started running 3 times a week.  We signed up for a 5K and by the time the date rolled around we were prepared.  We ran our first 5K on St. Patty's Day in glorious sunshine.  It was amazing.  We still continue to run and are now doing a 10K training.  As of right now, I am running about 45 minutes at a time and 4.5 miles in that time.   I want to build up my distance and endurance first and then think about building speed.

Race day!

I stepped on the scale today.  I was shocked.  162 lbs.   I have lost 90 lbs.  Yes, 90 lbs.  I am still having a hard time admitting to that number.  Call it denial, shock, disbelief, whatever.  I decided I needed to share my story because today it hit me that losing 90 lbs is a HUGE accomplishment--one that I need to be proud of! I would like to make excuses when I look at those old photos--pregnancy, genetics, etc but ultimately, I can't make excuses.  I wasn't in control.  I wasn't aware of my weight and I was letting food (eating for 3, remember?) control my life.  I could have stayed healthy, exercised more, and ate better but the past is behind me.  What I know now is that I can be in control of my body and my diet and it is not at all boring or tasteless!

Today, 162 lbs.

Today, I can see my collar bone again!

In the past I would go crazy for enchiladas, lasagna, and burgers.  My body and cravings have changed so much throughout this journey.  Last week, I was craving kale salad and salivating over an orange coconut smoothie.  I try to eat a smoothie (with fruit & veggies) for breakfast, salad and protein for lunch, veggie heavy dinner, and snack on nuts and fruit.  My one weakness is alcohol.  I really need to cut it out completely but having two kids and being busy all day, winding down with a glass of wine or a few beers is my personal sanctuary. One day, perhaps, when the toddler years are over, ok?

My weight loss journey isn't over.  I may have lost the weight but now I have some extra skin and highway map of stretchmarks to show for it.  Ah, my battle scars.  Now, my journey will be about building strength, toning, and using workouts for a challenge instead of simply weight loss--although I still need to lose another 20 lbs.  I am excited about where this journey will take me.  Spin class? Yoga? Crossfit?  Rowing?  Who knows!

After looking at the scale and feeling confident, I decided to try on my wedding dress--a size 12.  It was too big.  I guess I need to buy new clothes.

So there is my story.  All 90 lbs of it.

July 2012.

 March 2013

Run.

When I was researching the C25K program one of the things that came up was "everyone can do it".  I read reviews from 60-year old women, 300-pound men, moms, dads, literally everyone.  I didn't think I would be able to do it.   I had two babies, have 30 extra pounds to lose, have bad knees, and haven't been to a gym in 5 years. The workouts were challenging but not impossible.  I am happy to share that I was able to run a 5K at the end of our 8-week training.  

My cousin and I ran our first 5K on Sunday.  We joined 17,000 other people for St. Patty's Day Dash and raced in a sea of green up Aurora Ave on a beautiful sunny morning.  It was the ultimate Seattle experience.  I never thought I would ever like running.  I was convinced that I was not a runner.  8 weeks into our running challenge, and having a 5k under our belt, running has become something my body craves just like a good cup of coffee. 

When I came home from the Dash on Sunday both my kids cheered at me: "You did it Mom! You back from your race!" They gave me hugs and kisses and laughed at my green leggings.  They are so encouraging. Even Dale showed his support with a nice card and a bottle of whiskey. 

Monday, we ran around Greenlake.  It was beautiful and peaceful.  Kirsten and I decided that we are going to start training for a 10K.  We are signing up for a few more 5ks and hoping to run a 10K in August.




 

Surprises

We all love surprises, right?  I guess that depends on whether it is a good surprise or a bad one.  For example:

Good Surprise:
1.) New jobs
2.) New earrings and running pants hand selected by your husband for V-Day
3.) A lovely phone call from an old friend
4.) Running into an old friend
5.) Finding your bartender comped 2 of your happy hour drinks
6.) Getting an interview for grad school
7.) Listening to your child sing all the words of Baby Belguga. 
8.) Seeing the scale is 10 pounds lighter than it was on January 1st.

Bad Surprises:
1.) $1300 emergency vet bill
2.) Changing a poopy diaper on the go to discover you left your wipes at home
3.) Finding the milk in the cupboard--spoiled.
4.) Finding out you are losing your job in 4 days and you don't qualify for unemployment
5.) Getting pink eye
6.) Getting thrown up on at the zoo
7.) Ordering a tall coffee only to find you left your wallet at home


Alright, now for the story on these big surprises:

Our world has been turned upside down and backwards already several times this year.  January brought on the stress and dilemma of two job offers and grad school applications.  Just when we were getting caught up our cat developed a urinary blockage and cost us an emergency $1300 vet bill.  The poor guy is doing much better but gave us a lot of heartache when we weren't sure he would make it through the night. 

All the stress sent us to Friday Harbor, on San Juan Island, to visit with family and celebrate my 27th b-day.  We had such a wonderful time relaxing, catching up, playing, and sleeping in.  Yes, your read correctly.  I slept in.  3 days in a row.  My family sent me into the guest house and sacrificed themselves to wake up with my unruly children.  I never thought sleep would be the best 27th b-day gift ever! 

We finally got into the swing of things with our new schedule when I received unfortunate news that my new job was closing--at the end of the week.  After the devastation sunk in, I immediately contacted the people that offered me the first job back in January--as luck would have it they hadn't filled the position yet.  I start my new job working as a newborn hearing screener next week.  To add to the excitement of losing one job and gaining another, I was notified that I have an interview for my graduate school application on March 4.  I am nervous and excited.  At this point, I have seen doors open, close, and open again--whatever is meant to be will happen.  Keep your fingers crossed!

I made a commitment to start eating healthy and exercising this year.  All this stress has led me to rediscover running.  I used to run in high school and while I was good at it, I hated running.  I would use every excuse in the book to avoid running the mile.  Last month, I discovered the C25K program aimed at getting any couch potato running a 5k in 8 weeks.  Soon, I became obsessed.  I saw runners everywhere, watched their form, their breathing, their peace.  It looked so easy and so relieving.  On a gray, stressful Saturday, I downloaded the C25K app on my phone and ran for the first time since 2006--with a stroller and dog in tow.  The first week, I started off doing 60 seconds intervals of walking/jogging.  Now, I am on week 5 and getting ready to attempt a 20 minute run tomorrow.  Even better, I convinced my cousin to join me in this C25K journey which has made running more fun, challenging, and motivating.  We will be doing the St Patty's Day Dash on March 17th as a finale to our C25K challenge!

Kind of a random post, I know, but our life has been pretty random.  Our life is proof that you cannot plan for everything.  Instead of stressing, we are learning to just let it go, stay positive, and just enjoy what is in front of us! Keep us in your thoughts as we embark on even more changes and stay tuned to news on graduate school!

THANK YOU!

I made these cards to have the boys sign and mail out but let's face it---January is half-way over and I don't know if these will ever be going out!  However, we still wanted to show just how grateful we were to have such an amazing Christmas made possible by all those who generously shopped, packed, and shipped boxes our way!  The boys were stunned Christmas morning with all the presents that piled up under our tree! 

So THANK YOU! Some highlights this year: a guitar (from Grandpa Dale, Angela, and Karly), ALEX Toys coloring books (Pops & Heather), tons of movies (Nana & Papa), rainjackets (Mark & Kristie) and a TON of other toys that I can't even remember.  THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!!!

Exciting News!!!

Exciting news!!!!...........No, I am not pregnant.

The past few weeks have been exciting, frustrating, and tearful as I had 2 great job offers that begin immediately and one HUGE job to decide on for next fall.  I sat down and made pros, cons, and decision grids for each job.  Finally, it just came down to gut feelings. 

Last week on the way to one job interview, I got offered a job at a different place.  Crazy, right?  I was offered a part-time position to be the Newborn Hearing Screener at Swedish Ballard Medical Center.  It would have been an intense training but would open up a whole new career to me.  The second job, is part-time at Green Bananas Drop Art Care.  It is a small classroom inside a toy-store that allows you to drop your kids off for up to 4 hours at a time and they can do art projects with the staff. I have used this service many times and the boys love it here. I am a teacher, this is my field, and I would be able to take the boys with me, if needed.  Ultimately, I chose the Art Care job.  I start tomorrow.  Whew.

Lastly, January 20th marks my final deadline to decide whether I want to do Teach For America in the fall.  I spoke with my leaders, answered lots of questions, and weighed my options.  Chances are pretty good that I will be teaching elementary school in Federal Way or Renton next year but even that is still not guaranteed. I really don't want to commute to Federal Way next year but it is necessary to start my official career as a teacher.  There is hope that I will get placed in Seattle Public Schools but given the political climate and controversy still surrounding TFA, is not promising.

And as a back-up plan, I applied to the Master's in Teaching program at Seattle University.  I figure my luck has been so good lately, why not?  I miss being in school and this will open up many doors for me if I don't get placed next fall. 

So there you have it.  It is all very exciting but frustrating as I sat on the floor weighing all these options.  I am so excited to start working with Art Care.  It is such an amazing program and will offer me many rewards.  If you are in Seattle, I strongly encourage you to check out Green Bananas for Art Care or the toy store, 99monkeys. 

For those you wondering, I will still be doing my photography.  For my clients who read this blog, this explains any delay on photos, returning emails, or responding to texts.  I have been BUSY!

I am very blessed to have had so many offers thrown my way.  I wanted a chance to contribute to our family's income without spending a fortune on a childcare.  I am incredibly thankful that my prayers were heard! 

Yay!

New Year...

I can't believe it is already 2013.  It seems like just last year I was ringing in 2000 with my little brother....seriously.  It seems like it all happened over night.  Life. Adulthood.  This year, I fell asleep on the couch, waking up just after midnight to a quiet, dark, house.  How old am I, right?

 We never really set resolutions last year.  Just a general plan: more playtime, technology free days, healthy eating, savings, etc.  I am really proud of the great strides our family has made.  We accomplished all of our goals last year.  Hell yeah!  

This year our resolutions, goals, whatever you call them are pretty awesome.  Save money. We just paid off our credit card bill and will now put that money we would have been paying to debt into savings!  Lose weight. We are off to a great start with our new diet, now it is time to add regular exercise.  I am shopping for gyms this week if anyone in Seattle has some good recommendations! Travel. We keep saying we are going to visit family and friends but we never do.  It is happening this year. I promise. I will make it happen. Kiss more. Dale and I have gotten so busy that we sometimes forget to kiss each other out the door. We also just finished reading The 5 Love Languages and I am excited to see how this pays off in our relationship. Play more. I have a hard time sitting down and just playing when I know the dishes and laundry need to be done.  Truth be told, the dishes and laundry will always need to be done but the boys are only young once.  So play hard! Journal.  Getting in front of the computer is next to impossible, so I started a simple journal to keep track of our activities, I even let Kannon and Clark draw photos of our day!

We are going to continue on our new food journey.  Dale thought I was crazy when I first mentioned trying Paleo.  Now, he swears by it.  Dale says he feels lighter, more energetic, and has notice a dramatic difference in his body shape.  He tells everyone at work about it and loves sharing his meal ideas with others.  The man can cook! I think Dale his channeling his inner caveman because his meals are just downright delicious!

Speaking of food, you may have noticed the new frequency of food-related photos on Facebook and Instagram.  I have made it my personal mission to photograph every Paleo meal we eat this year with the goal of putting them together in a cookbook for our family.  I will try and post recipes here but admittedly, I am busy, and it will most likely happen rarely.  If you see something you want the recipe for, feel free to contact me! I am happy to share!  

Happy new year!