mama confesses:: big dreams

I am a dreamer.  But aren't we all????  I daydream about tomorrow, next month, and next year wondering what our lives will look like in the future.  Over the weekend, I couldn't help but wonder what next Easter will be like.  How much Kannon will have grown and changed, becoming the little man he is destined to be.  I imagined the new baby with us, all of us scouring the yard for easter eggs and enjoying a delicious meal afterward. 

Of course, I don't let my daydreaming get ahead of myself.  I enjoy every minute of the present.  I savor the moments with Kannon knowing how quickly he will grow up--how quickly his life will change when a new baby joins us. 

Lately, I have been doing a lot more dreaming.  Dreaming of bigger things, new ideas, fresh faces, and new beginnings.  I am a wanderer. 

We like Missoula, but we are not in love.  I will always hold Montana near and dear to my heart, but the reality is that we growing beyond Montana.  We need culture, diversity, opportunity, bigger cities.  So the search has begun.  Dale and I are looking beyond Montana's borders in sight of opportunity.

Dale has applied for a position in Spokane.  I am applying to grad school.  We have a 5 month old and a baby due in October.  Are we crazy????

Dale and I agreed to never settle if we are unhappy.  It took a lot of adjusting to get used to living in Missoula and initially we liked it.  Then we developed this sort of love hate relationship that has quickly turned more to hate.  We thought things would change when Kannon was born, but they got worse.  We found ourselves isolated, bored, lonely, and wishing we had friends close by--someone to share our life with.

So the countdown begins.  By next March we will be leaving the Big Sky state in search of a new home and a new adventure.  We are looking at Seattle, Spokane, Walla Walla, and the Portland area.  Anything is possible, plans change, and you just do what you gotta do.  So for now, I am dreaming of life in Spokane and what that future may hold for us.  Next week, I might be dreaming of Seattle or Portland or maybe even Idaho. 

But really,  I am savoring kisses and hugs with my son who is growing faster than I can believe.  I already miss my time with him as he is finally sleeping 12 hours straight through the night!

So I send good dreams to all and wish you all to continue dreaming the impossible and living the life you want to live.