Fast forward, the past few weeks have been a blur. February 29, I woke up suddenly with a bad case of strep throat. Clark broke another arm. So in and out of the doctor's office we were, racing through life, balancing a full-time teaching job, Dale's college load, his work, kids homework, cooking, cleaning, paying bills, always feeling short on time. And then suddenly, time froze.
Dale woke up on March 6 with a fever and cough. I joked that maybe it was the COVID19. Then I woke up sick. On Monday, we messaged our doctor. "Hey, we have flu symptoms--fever, aches, chills, cough. The kids are all sick now too. What should we do?" She diagnosed us with the flu, prescribed Tamiflu and told us to stay in touch if we felt like it was getting worse. So we rested. We didn't have choice--we were all so tired and after 10 minutes of activity we felt like we had run a marathon. We still had a lingering fever that came and went and a stubborn cough. At one point, I thought we were going to need to go to the ER. My blood pressure was really high and oxygen saturation was below normal. Having a history of pneumonia, I was quite worried. I reached out to our doctor again: "We still are sick. Off again, on again fevers, and dry cough. Dale works in restaurants and has frequent contact with people that may be traveling, often headed to ski country. Should we be tested for COVID19?" The doctor said she wasn't even 100% sure what we have or what to do. She couldn't order a test for us because we aren't high risk, we don't have "known" direct contact, and there is a huge shortage of tests. But, cases in Colorado started rising, it was clear community spread was happening, so we self-quarantined until our symptoms were gone. I still don't know if it was just the flu, COVID19, or another virus. Regardless, we took precautions, stayed at home, and while we were at home recovering, it seemed the whole world turned upside down.
On Thursday, school districts across the country announced closure after closure. Our school announced closure until April. Tuesday, Denver ordered all restaurants and bars to close until May 11. Dale is laid off and in the queue for unemployment. I am homeschooling the kids and trying to teach/set up online learning for my class of 3rd graders. It all happened so fast and I wasn't even there to say goodbye to my students as we were still home sick. We are finally on the mend and finding a new normal. Our school is supposed to reopen in April, but seeing the long list of other schools and districts extend their closures, I am prepared for the long haul and trying to remain hopeful in this time of uncertainty. I feel very lucky that I have a stable job that is able to pay me while we are out, as I know this is not the case for so many. My heart is literally breaking as these are my friends, family, Dale's colleagues, student's families, and more.
So here we are. The busy and unbalanced life that we were living before COVID19, has suddenly stopped. We have had time to take walks, do yoga, bake, cook, and learn things we feel are important but haven't had time for. The kids are learning cursive, geography, and science on top of their normal reading and math. We play games, read books, take naps, and drink tea. In between parent phone calls and assigning learning activities to my students, I snuggle with Quinn, call a friend, or read. We are devastated and sending love, shine, prayers to all those who are impacted by this. We are also grateful that we have time to slow down, evaluate our values, interests, and deepen our connections with each other. We can complain about the privileges that have suddenly been stripped away. We can be worried or fearful about the future, how to pay bills, feed our families, and more. We can also remember that how you show up matters and your kids, spouses, friends, and family are all watching and are all here together. What is happening is not just happening to you---it is happening to the whole world. This is a time to remember that we are a community and we can help each other (from 4-6ft away, phone calls, or video chatting, of course). It is also a time to recenter ourselves and find gratitude for the little (and big) things.
A month ago I was worried about travel arrangements, spring break planning, job stuff, baseball sign ups, bills, savings, and more. Now, I worry about my older family members, immunocompromised friends. I worry about the world and how we will survive this next phase of uncertainty. As someone who loves watching every disaster movie, life feels very much like the beginning of a movie and we are just on the precipice of action. Is this for real? I only hope that we remember again, how you show up matters, and we will survive this as a better, stronger, more mindful world.
The kids are starting to practice typing skills by making a journal entry. I decided that I will also start putting it on here. Perhaps there are other 9-10 years olds out there that would like to share their experiences too. So stay tuned! Stay healthy, wash your hands, and let us know if you need anything!
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