This month has been a little rough. We were challenged many times throughout the month and were constantly on the brink of an emotional coup d'etat. I am only making $833 a month and our bills roughly double that. First, the cat bill added up to a week's pay, then Dale's uncle passed away (couldn't afford plane tickets), and now we are adjusting to the idea that Dale may not have a job until March.
Dale and I talk about everything, but right now, it is really hard because we are both questioning our move to Missoula. Every time I get upset about a rough day at work or about crappy Missoula drivers, I bite my tongue for peace. Of course, this has the negative downside of promoting bottled emotion nearing explosion.
The explosion happened. It all started when Hanna (bff) called to say happy birthday. One thing led to another and I found myself tearing uncontrollable inside my car. I was picking up Dale to go drop off job applications and the entire car ride was silenced by our general awkwardness about discussing our present emotional state.
Two hours went by and finally, I asked if we could go to the animal shelter. I dont know what possessed this thinking. We had been thinking about getting a dog, but hadn't seriously considered it.
We got to the shelter and of course, they had puppies. 3 month old lab/border collie crosses. Immediately we jumped in to play with those bundles of fur. We walked around enjoying the cool air, sunny day, and dogshit on our shoes. Decision time: do we get a dog?
We walked back over to the puppies. I leaned down, and this small black puppy with white paws stuck her tiny paws through the fence to touch my face. Decision made!
The next day, Dale and I completed the paperwork and adopted our first puppy. We pick her up on Monday!
The rest of the night, Dale and I snuggled in bed and talked about our frustrations, Montana, work. We dreamed up all these activities to do with the new dog. Walks, hikes, floating, camping. Both of us, we exhausted but we continued talking about our future and our present. That emotional blunder was the first real challenge we have faced in marriage. It would have been resolved at some point, because neither one of us can stand to be mad at each other for more than a few hours.
However, deciding to get a dog was a decision we both made. We make decisions every day, but this decision involved talking to each other about our present and future. We made cases for and against. Talking it out opened up pathways for honest dialogue, that we previously fogged over. It was a big decision, and I know that we cant get a dog everytime we get into a fight, however, we learned how to analyze our problems and work them out in a healthy way.
It became clear that we do have a future in Montana and that we are both ready to take responsibility for our lives and for others.
The new puppy saved the day!
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