Empty-Womb Syndrome

Delivery Day....40 Weeks 1 Day

Last night I rolled over on my stomach and thought "oh, shi*, I crushed the baby" and then I remembered....I am NOT pregnant anymore.

Last week, Dale caught me rubbing my belly. Today, I found myself staring at the mirror baffled at the return of my nearly flat stomach. I almost cried.

I loved being pregnant so much. I felt great. I had an appetite and ate great. My skin was glowing, my hair thick, and my nails incredible. It was the best I have ever felt in my entire life, so full of energy and happiness.

Now, I am tired. My nails are splitting. My hair starting to thin. My face looks like the ring of fire, covered with zits ready to blow. I am having night sweats. The stretchmarks are no longer a sign of my growing belly. I don't feel like eating--everything looks so unappetizing, including me.

At 39 weeks, I never thought I would say "I miss being pregnant", but I do. I miss it terribly. I loved feeling my belly when Kannon kicked and imagining what he looked like. I loved daydreaming his arrival. I loved that every day was like a science project, analyzing every little symptom and daily change. Don't get me wrong, I love that Kannon is here. I want to cuddle with him every moment of the day. The smell of his skin gets me high. I can stare at him for hours, daydreaming about his growing up. But I want another one.

While my heart feels bigger and more full of love than ever, I am suffering from a little empty womb syndrome. Dale and I do plan on having more kids and I thought that I would be able to wait at least a few years but let's be honest, we are already talking about the next one. (Don't have a heart attack, its not like its happening tomorrow) Funny, how easily you can forget the pain of labor, the backaches, the hourly trips to the bathroom, in favor of another child.

I guess I had such an amazing pregnancy and childbirth experience that I am eager to go through the process again. Kannon has been such an amazing baby that I want to do all over again....of course, if the rumors are true, the second one is always a hellion...I suppose I should tattoo that to my forehead in attempts to keep any more children at bay. Or does anyone know of a cure for empty-womb syndrome?