Third Trimester Tantrums

Pregnant women are already a force to be reckoned with but if you encounter an almost 8-month pregnant woman, sweltering in the 100 degree weather, with 20 pounds of baby weight and swollen ankles--RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!!

I have been very grateful to have had such an easy pregnancy- free of any major problems, symptoms, or the emotional roller coaster that many complain about. However, the last three weeks have made me feel like I belong in a mental institution because in one minute I not only suffer from multiple personality disorder, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder, but I have also become the Queen of Passive Agressiva!

I am hot, cranky, angry at my husband for not getting me ice cream and then angry that he did bring me ice cream because my ankles are already swollen enough. I don't want to be touched but two seconds later I am mad because Dale is sitting three feet away from me. One minute I want to nap, the next I am roaring to clean the house. I am mad at Dale for having a beer, but the next I am encouraging it. I am a basket case! All this compounded with the slurry of visitors that we've had, the 100 degree days, and the mere thought that I am back to work full-time next week is enough to make me cry or laugh or scream, depending on the mood.

Poor Dale has to suffer through every tantrum and he does so graciously and patiently. His favorite phrases: "Yes, dear" "You were right, I was wrong. " "I don't know honey, what do you want to do?" and my personal favorite "Its all about you, you are the pregnant one."

But even he sometimes loses his cool after a million "yes, dears" which only perpetuates my hysteria. A typical night for us goes like this:

me: "What can I do for you?"
Dale: "Nothing." He knows that the real question is what can HE do for me!
me: "I want to make you happy, you always do stuff for me."
Dale: "I am fine." Still pondering the real question.
me: "No really, what do you want? Do you want to watch a movie? TV?"
Dale: "Yeah, whatever, we can watch a movie." Knowing that we will not watch a movie now that he has said this.
me: "I am too tired to watch a movie, maybe I will just go to bed." Thinking Dale will come and lay down with me to.
Dale: "I am not ready to lay down, go on without me."
me: "Hummmph." Heads to bed angry. Dale follows a few seconds later and lays down next to his now sobbing wife.
Dale: "What can I do for you?" Realizing he should have just asked in the beginning and saved himself the trouble.

I recognize the illogical nature of this episode and yet it still happens, every night! I don't even want to be friends with my pregnant self right now, let alone be married to me! So bless you Dale, for all the hard work you put in to this. I am sorry for all the tantrums, confusing conversations, and selfish moments that you endure from me. You are the true hero in this relationship and clearly deserving of one of those coffee mugs that reads "world's best dad".