Survivors

I survived my first year as a second grade teacher.  I survived being a working mom with 2 boys despite being a 2nd grade teacher.  And, my husband survived being married to me, during this year when I was up late studying, writing lesson plans, and doing anything and everything related to my classroom--it was a rough year that required a lot of balancing, patience, and wine...lots of wine.

Here I am 3 weeks into my summer and the work anxiety is starting to fade.  Even though I was confident in the classroom despite all my behavior problems, at-risk students, and limited resources, I still had anxiety.  Would I be observed today?  Would my projector break? Would we have pencils? Would I get a new student? Would I lose a student?  How many referrals would I write today? Did Jon Doe take their behavior medication? Did Jane Doe get breakfast today? How did my students do on their standardized test? The anxiety haunted me every single day-- in my sleep and my way to school--until the morning bell rang when I was greeted by 19 friendly faces eager and ready to learn.  Only then, did the anxiety go away, when I remembered what I was there to do--teach. 

But I did so much more than just teach.  I was a counselor, a nurse, a mediator, a storyteller, a writer, a coach, and so much more.  I taught my students more than they were required to learn, more than was in our curriculum, but I still feel like I didn't teach them enough.  On the last day of school, I cried like a baby not wanting to let my class go.  Most of my students improved over 2 years of reading in one year of school.  They made me proud when they aced their end of the year math exams, using strategies I had taught them.  The last week of school, we wrote poems, conducted student interviews, met real people with real success stories, and created a memory book.  My students made me proud.

Yes, I taught them, but they were the ones who wanted to learn.  They were the ones who asked questions and engaged in higher level thinking.  On the last day, I asked my students where they would be in ten years.  All of them said "in college" studying to be a doctor, a lawyer, a veterinarian, a zoologist, and more.  Several even said they would be a teacher, "just like Mrs. P".  I asked them what they would need to do to achieve their goals and without hesitation they said "determination, hard work, confidence, and self-control" (all terms we had learned from a book, Inch & Miles: Journey to Success).

It wasn't all roses this year.  I had students with anger management issues throw desks, hit each other, and curse at me.  I had students who ended up homeless, sleeping in their car, coming to school in the same outfit they had worn for weeks. And, I had students who were taken away from their parents by CPS.  Despite these challenges, all these students survived.  They survived the school year, showed growth and continue to show a desire for knowledge and success.

Saying good bye was the hardest thing for me to do.  Many of my students will not be coming back next year.  They are moving on to new schools, new cities, and new states.  I will have no way of knowing how well they did next year or in the next ten years. For now, all I can do is hope they remember our class and prepare for next year's class.