baby got cloth!

Remember "Baby got Back "?  Well, Sir Mix a lot has a little competition because our baby's got cloth!!!  I found this posted in one of my baby boards and couldn't help but laugh, cry, and laugh some more.  It is so true!!!

***Note: Its is best to read this while humming the tune "baby got back".  Hhehee!

I like fluffy butts and I cannot lie                                                           

You other mother's can't deny                                                             

That when a baby crawls in with a super fluffy butt                                

And a great big smile across her face                                               

You get jealous, wanna buy some fluff                                         

 'Cause you notice that butt is stuffed                                              

 With a perfect fit pocket dipe
I'm hooked and I can't stop staring
Oh baby, I wanna get that print
And take a picture
My best friend tried to warn me
But that fluffy butt you got makes me so jealous
Ooh, Rump-o'-smooth-skin
You say you wanna get in my playgroup?
Well, call my mommy, call her
'Cause you ain't that average baby
I've seen them crawling
To hell with disposables
She's clean, dry,
Got it goin' like a jumparoo
I'm tired of magazines
Sayin' disposable dipes are the thing
Take the average mommy and ask her that
She gotta pack much back
So, mamas! (Yeah!) Mamas! (Yeah!)
Has your baby got the fluffy butt? (oh yeah!)
Tell 'em to shake it! (Shake it!) Shake it! (Shake it!)
Shake that healthy butt!
Baby got cloth!

I like 'em round, and cloth
And when I'm throwin' a fit
I just can't help myself, I'm actin' like a spoiled brat
I wanna get your fluff
It’s mine, double-up, mine, mine
I ain't talkin' bout disposables
'Cause that stuff is nothing but trash
I want 'em real thick and cloth
So find that fluffy double
Mamas in trouble
Beggin' for a brand new diaper
So I'm lookin' at etsy stores
Work at home mamas sewing like pros
You can have them sticky tabs
I'll keep my velcro’s
A word to the cloth butt babies, I wanna play with ya
I won't bit or hit ya
But I gotta be straight when I say I wanna play
Till I got to go take my nap
Baby got it goin' on
A lot of simps won't like this song
'Cause them punks like to trash a dipe
And I'd rather wash and reuse
'Cause I'm smart, and I'm loved
And I'm down to get a cloth dipe on
So, Babies! {Yeah!} Babies! {Yeah}
If you wanna crawl in a Happy Hiney {Yeah!}
Then turn around! Stick it out!
Even trash bottom babies got to shout
Baby got back!

Baby got back!
Yeah, baby ... when it comes to diapers, Huggies ain't got nothin'
to do with my selection. Trash? Ha ha, only if she's got a rash. 

So your friends sportin a Pamper, filling up the diaper genie
But Pampers ain't got a microfiber insert in the back
My soft butt don't want none
Unless you've got cloth, hun
You can pee and poo
But please don't lose that fluffy butt
Some mothers wanna play that hard role
And tell you that the cloth butt ain't right
So they toss it and trash it
And I pull up quick to fight it
So Huggies says your butt needs a disposable
Well I ain't down with that!
'Cause your butt is fluffy and your onsies kickin'
And I'm thinkin' bout fluffy mail
To the disposable diapered babies in the magazines:
You ain't it, Miss Thing!
Give me a cloth bottom baby, I can't resist her
Mamas breast milk didn't miss her
Some knucklehead tried to dis
'Cause his babies in paper
He had green options but he chose to make more trash
And I pull up quick to educate him
So babies, if the butt is cloth,
And you want to come over to play,
Dial 1-800-FLUFFY1
And kick them nasty paper dipes
Baby got back!

(Little she is but she got much back) [4x]

funny story.

Sorry I have been MIA lately.  With Dale's restaurant opening and the holidays, I just haven't had time to jump on the computer.  But, here is a funny story---

After getting frustrated with my OB about birth control options because he wouldn't listen to my needs I decided to make an appointment with Planned Parenthood.  Well, Wednesday I drove myself down to their office and was so excited to find a doctor who actually LISTENED to what I wanted.  After one oops, Dale and I aren't taking chances.  We decided on Implanon-- a matchstick sized rod inserted in your arm that is good for 3 years! 

Thursday, I went in to PP again for the actual insertion.  They asked me to give a urine sample.  No problem, I said.  I peed in a cup for 9 months, so what's one more!  I did my business and waited in the office.

An hour went by. 

And finally, 2 people walked in, with very serious faces.

"Well, unfortunately, we can't give you the Implanon today because you had a positive pregnancy test".

Me, after nearly scraping myself off the floor, told them this was impossible.  VERY impossible. In fact so impossible, I was willing to pee on 30 sticks to clear the air.  They asked me to wait a few minutes.

A few minutes later, they came back and told me that it was their error.  There was another "Katherine" in the office and they switched the cups.  Just to be sure, I re-tested. NEGATIVE!

Whew. 

So after resting on the table for 30 minutes waiting for my heart rate to return to normal, I am happy to say that I am indeed not pregnant and won't have to think about pregnancy for 3 years thanks to the little rod in my arm. 

Celebrating Cereal

It seems silly, but these past few days we have been celebrating over cereal.  Kannon started rice cereal evidence of his growing up.  With each bite he takes he becomes a better eater, more independent, and begs to use the spoon.

We were going to wait a few more months to start solids but Kannon's stuffy nose had better plans.  After 2-3 days of eating barely 10 ounces, we gave him some cereal and he licked the bowl clean.  While I was worried about this big milestone, Kannon showed he was more than ready! 

Kannon was never the biggest morning eater but now with cereal on the menu, he couldn't be more excited.  We have also added an evening meal, right before his bath, so clean-up is a breeze.

All the cereal must be doing some good because he has been rolling over like crazy, sleeping over 8 hours in a stretch, talking, and laughing more.  The truth is, the cereal isn't to blame, rather its just a sign of my son growing up.

In a final note, we got a new video camera!  It is nothing fancy but at least we can see what we are shooting now!



Follow the link to see Kannon in action: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Na1HOYMWnNM

Daddy Logic

Kannon has been sick the past few days--nothing really serious, just a mild cold, cough, and stuffy nose. Nonetheless, it has kept us waking up on the hour, every hour, to comfort Kannon while he experience his "first cold".

It is hell. My heart breaks at every cough and I am struggling every moment between calling the doctor and "letting it pass".

He is getting better but now that his nose is looking somewhat like Niagara Falls and our bulb syringe disappeared (thanks Sascha) we have no way to get those cruddy boogers out. How do you tell a 4-month old to blow?

Dale's answer: Just suck them out.

!#&(*&$!(#*$&!(#*$& Whhhhaaat???

Of course, he didn't say he would suck them out.....he was asking me.

So that's right, I sucked my son's boogers out. With my mouth. It was a bit salty, really not all that different from own.

Not only am I a poop juggling, diaper changing, burping, spit up covered mom---I am a snot sucker. Do I get the supermom award of the year for this?

Confession of the Week

I am too tired to get real food and Kannon is only going to sleep for 20 minutes. What am I doing?

Watching the Bachelor and spreading Nutella all over some crackers.

I never saw my life heading down this road....

Mommy Moment #2

I meant to post this a few weeks ago, but I am still reliving the shame every time the UPS man comes to our door.

I was quietly nursing Kannon in preparation for a nap. Sometimes, he falls asleep while nursing and I have to quickly pop him off, lay him down, and sneak out the door without a peep. Usually, I don't have time to make sure all.....err, parts are covered.

Well, on one such afternoon, I put Kannon down, turned around and ninja'ed my way out the room being careful to avoid every loose board in our floor. I shut the door just as the doorbell rang and I quickly ran to the door to greet our UPS man.

Conversation went something like this:
Me: Hi!
UPS: errr, hello. Sign here (pointing to clip pad)
Me: Ok (struggling to keep Emma behind the door, glancing down, I noticed, one very uncovered, very public BOOB!)
Me: (laughing at this point) I bet you dont see that everyday!
UPS: (Awkwardly laughs and walks away)

A few days later the same UPS man returned, blushing before he even reached the door. This time, I made Dale answer the door. I bet he was disappointed.

Some days, being a mommy means not having a second to pee, drink water, eat, or even cover up!

Getting High.....

Someone on Facebook posted a comment about getting high. I had to laugh.

The best high I have ever had was pushing 7 lbs of flesh out of my body. I was on top of the world.

Afterwards, I had the best damn cheeseburger I have ever tasted in my entire life.

If only these highs could come without the 9 months of pregnancy and 25 pounds of baby weight. I would trade my left boob for the feeling again....and the cheeseburger, seriously, better than sex.

Daddy Logic

Parenting comes very easy to Dale and me. Perhaps it is our open mind, flexibility, and patience. When life gives us poop, we wash it out and start over again (referring to diapers of course). There are some moments, however, that I find myself struggling deep within myself to contain that urge to run out the door screaming. Those are the moments when I let Dale take over, in whatever fashion he desires.

During those days, I like to sit idly by watching my husband as he coos, giggles, and makes silly faces at our little one. Some times, I am surprised at his gentleness and candor. Other times, I am laughing my a$$ off wondering how I married such a fool. Dale should win "Dad of the Year" for all of his golden achievements, however, I am not willing to let some his actions slip by unnoticed in a clear moment of what I like to call "Daddy Logic".

1.) A few weeks ago, I came home to find Kannon in a diaper stuffed with washcloths. I asked Dale what happened and he said we ran out prefolds so he just stuffed a washcloth in his diaper cover. It worked as Kannon was dry and washcloth was wet, but I was praying god that we never run out of diapers as I might find Kannon wrapped in paper towels!

2.) We got his adorable little bathrobe for Christmas and Dale insisted on using it last night. So after Kannon was bathed, Dale put him in the robe to go lounge around....a few moments later he noticed he was wet, that's when he realized he forgot to put a diaper on. Duh!

3.) Kannon has been rejecting bottles, so we have been trying to get him to take a bottle at almost every feeding--of course we usually fail as this little boy will not be fooled! However, we thought we had success when Dale called me in to show me that half the bottle was gone. Then I looked at Kannon's shirt, which was completely soaked. He was drinking all right, but he wasn't swallowing....and Dale didn't even notice!! Maybe its for the best that Kannon has been rejecting the bottle all these weeks!

4.) I think Dale thinks he has more than two hands because he is always trying to do too much. For instance, he grabbed the carseat, the bookbag, and groceries all in one hand. When he reached the door, he put the carseat down and said "look honey, its a door stop!" and went inside to drop his bags off, leaving Kannon and his carseat holding the door open for me. Thank god it wasn't snowing! I appreciate the help but babies aren't doorstops.

5.) Dale shouted excitedly from the kitchen, "look, he is tracking!!" (a skill Kannon has possessed for weeks now) and I walked in to see Dale holding his beer bottle in front of Kannon. Kannon was indeed tracking the beer bottle and Dale suggested we make a beer-bottle mobile. Ummmm????



Dale is a wonderful father. I couldn't have asked for a stronger more supportive partner. He never complains about dirty diapers, 2 am feedings, or bringing home groceries. He always remembers to feed the dog and does the laundry on his days off. He has made parenting equally fun and challenging as we both learn more about our needs as a family. Even when I am upset, running out the door away from our screaming child, he finds a way to make me laugh...be it seeing Kannon in a ladies headband or soaring through the air to land his mommy a kiss. I cant wait to see the many more "Daddy Logic" moments that send me to tears in laughter as our son grows older. For now, I am hiding the washcloths and buying a real doorstop tomorrow.

Lessons Learned

These 3 weeks have flown by and I still cant believe that we have a baby. Sometimes, I wish I was still pregnant, where taking care of a baby was a little easier but than I get that whiff of newborn hair and fall in love all over again.

Kannon is growing bigger every day and is gradually adjusting to a regular day/night schedule (thank god!). He is most alert at 8 am and again at 8 pm giving us just a glimpse of his personality and charm. We have spending most of those alert hours cuddling in bed and watching him discover his world.

At 3 weeks old, I sadly have to say that our little one is finally outgrowing his newborn clothes. The sleepers that I loved to dress him in are now stretched out in the feet and his long sleeves are beginning to look like 3/4 lengths. So, out with old and in with new, I started Kannon in the 0-3 month clothes which have plenty of room to grow.

I keep meaning to take note of all the things I would do differently next time around and have so far come up with a pretty extensive list. I remember sharing with my dad that I was eager to have this baby so I could figure out our routine. We spent the last 9 months reading every childbirth and parenting book on the planet to discover that we threw it all out the window and have set our own agenda instead. Some lessons learned:

1.) Skip the onesies. We got 18 onesies from baby showers and we have yet to use a single one. Kannon hates have stuff pulled over his head and we have been unable to figure out how to pull them over his delicate head without causing mass hysteria. So, we tossed the onesies in a box.



2.) Stock up on sleeper suits that button or zip. We started out with 3 of these and now we have a dozen. They are perfect for Montana--keeping our babe's arms, legs, and feet completely covered without worrying about disappearing socks. It also makes for easy diaper changes as we can unzip/unbutton half of the outfit with him getting cold. Now that he is outgrowing the newborn sizes, we will have to stock up with more 0-3 months, as I am in love with these things, plus you don't have to pull them over any one's head.

3.) Always use a changing table. For a minute there, Dale and contemplated the necessity of a changing table. Diapers can be changed anywhere, the floor, the bed, etc. But, our baby seems to like pooping the second the diaper comes off, and in almost every case, misses the back up diaper underneath. So the changing pad has been cleaned almost daily. I cant imagine having to clean up baby shi* on my bed.

4.) Bring a baby sling or wrap wherever you go! For the most part, Kannon falls fast asleep in his carseat wherever we go making errands easy and fuss-free. However, when he does wake up, shi* hits the fan. He wants to be held, fed, and taken care of in minutes whether you are standing in line at Costco or waiting for your bill at a restaurant. Having the wrap nearby makes for an easy transfer--just pop the baby in, give him the boob and he can live without a diaper change until we get home.

5.) Develop good sleeping habits. We started Kannon off in a bassinet in our room. That worked for 2 days and then he started fussing every night. We discovered that he loves sleeping his stroller (great investment!) and it is convenient because we can wheel him around without him even noticing. However, at 3 weeks, we are starting to transition him into his own crib, and we are failing miserably! So unless, you plan to co-sleep forever, get them started in their cribs early on!

6.) While we are at it, get a lazy-boy for the baby's room so Dad has a place to rest while he is on pacifier replacement duty. Dale's back is sore from the nights he has spent sleeping on the floor, arched over the crib. Perhaps, I will put this one on a Christmas list.

7.) Don't let the music stop! Kannon likes sleeping with noise--tv, music, the fan, you name it. We had just spent an hour getting him to sleep and we forgot to hit the repeat setting on our cd player. Sure enough, the second the cd stopped, Kannon wailed for another hour!

8.) Buy more mirrors. Mirrors are great distraction for our little one and as an added bonus they help ensure that moms don't walk out with spit up in their hair.

9.) Always keep batteries on hand. Our baby monitor stopped working and we didn't have batteries to replace it and spent the night with the baby because we cant hear a peep through our thick walls.

10.) Breast feeding moms--pump a supply for Dad. As much as I love breast feeding and bonding with Kannon, after zero sleep and a baby who feels compelled to nurse on the hour during the night, it is understandable to roll-over and say "I quit". Of course, you remember that its not an option unless you have some milk stored away. Since Dale has taken over some nighttime feedings it has given me a chance to sleep and given Dale more confidence in soothing those nighttime cries.

11.) Stock up on many different types of pacifiers. We didn't want our kid to be the one of those pacified pacifier babies but after 3 weeks of soothing Kannon with our pinky fingers we gave in. It took 4 different types of pacifiers to find one that Kannon likes--the soothie brand we came home from the hospital with. Now, our pinky nails have a chance to grow back and Kannon is happily fulfilling his sucking need.

12.) Glass bottles rock! We were given both and have decided that glass bottles are our favorite. They heat up much faster when you are trying to soothe baby and warm a bottle one handed. As an added benefit, they handle the dishwasher with ease.



13.) Go Cloth! If you can, use cloth diapers. We have been so surprised at our success with cloth diapering. It is sooooo much easier to run a load of laundry then run to the store for more diapers. We still have had NO blowout with our cloth unlike the disposables that disappointed us before. We spent $75 for 24 prefolds, 3 covers, and 4 gDiapers, I cant imagine what we would have spent buying disposables. They are cute, warm, and take just a few minutes to change. (I plan on doing a cloth diapering blog soon, for those of you who have been curious)

14.) They all say "sleep when baby sleeps" but make sure to use this time for "us". This is so hard to do, when you are staring a pile of dishes and unopened mail but you have to do it. If you don't want to sleep while baby sleeps, do something with your husband like watch a movie, or cuddle, or go for a walk. I felt like I hadn't seen Dale in days, then we took a nap together and cuddled for the first time in weeks. It truly elevated my day. Since then, we have been trying to make sure to use sleep time for "us" time, whether we sleep, walk, cook, whatever.

15.) Get dressed first. Those first few day my robe was my uniform. Finally, I started passing the baby to Dale for an hour each morning so I could get dressed, washed, and clean. I felt better, looked better, and smelled better meaning my day was off to a good start. So while those dishes could be washed while daddy is holding the baby, make sure you get dressed first. Plus, it is so great to feel pretty when you have a baby spitting up down your shirt.

Alrighty, these were quite a few lessons learned and I am sure they wont be the last. I am sorry to bore you with any of the details but for those new parents that read my blog, I am sure you can relate! There have been so many challenges but it is so worth it. We love parenthood and have enjoyed every day with our son, who shows us how big your hearts can grow and how wonderful the world is. Kannon is starting to stir so ta-ta for now!

Famous Last Words

"Its okay, I dont need a burp rag." Seconds later, my perfect baby expels the entire contents of his stomach into my hair, lap, sheets, and of course, himself.

The lesson here, always use a burp rag, unless you have just given up on staying dry--which lets face it here, I have.

The sad part, I was too tired to change the sheets, so I just put a towel down and slept over it. Three days later, I still havent changed the sheets, but at least I did take a shower!

The Boob Shark.

My boob shark.

You have heard it before, the unmistakable sound from "Jaws", the 'da-duh' that triggers goosebumps and forces you to look around and check your back and make sure there isnt a feeding frenzy taking place.

That sound has been replaced by "wa-wah's" echoing in our bedroom, requiring me to pull out my boob and bite my lips as my little "boob-shark" latches on in an all too familiar frenzy.

The mere smell of milk sets him off and he begins to root around furiously in search of his target--the ever so forgiving nipple. God forbid, he loses sight of his target in the darkened room, as he will latch onto anything--a finger, a shirt, the sheet-- only to spit it out with anger and rage.

For whatever reason, my little angel who nurses so peacefully during the day turns into "Jaws" at night. Hence the reason we have started calling him, "the boob shark", so nursing mothers and sore nipples beware because when the lights go down, the boob shark is on the prowl.

My Mommy Moment

I lounged around yesterday in my bathrobe. It was really the first day I didn't brush my teeth, change my clothes, or even wash my face. I took a nap, fed Kannon, relaxed etc.

I got up and noticed I had babyshi* all over my lap. Apparently, Kannon had a blow out and I didn't notice. The sad part, I checked his diaper and it was still clean from the previous diaper change a few hours before. So, who knows how long I walked around with babyshi* on my robe.

The best part, I still wore the robe because I was too tired to put on clothes.

It was a true mommy moment.

Dear Work...

I am tired of coming into my office everyday. Tired of hauling my very pregnant self into my husband's explorer, tired of searching for the seat belt clip, tired of circling for parking and then walking the precarious slippery hallways only to be asked "you are still here????" or "still no baby???".

I do not want to stop working but at the same time I can't handle another person asking me "where's the baby???". Don't you think that if I had the baby, I would relay that information??? Seriously, I am getting embarrassed and feeling like everyday is a walk of shame because I am still pregnant. My due-date is next week and yet you have been asking me these questions since September 1st!!!!

For the record, I plan on showing up everyday until this baby pops and until then please refrain from opening your mouth!

Thank You,
A Seriously Aggravated Pregnant Lady

39 Weeks....Its almost time!!!

We just returned from our 39 week appointment. So far in this pregnancy I have gained 19 pounds and have been textbook from the start. Our baby has always measured on target, so I shouldn't be at all surprised if our baby makes his grand entrance on his due date.....however, I am losing patience as the 8-pound bowling ball sitting on my bladder is getting uncomfortable as is the daily bought of false labor contractions.

This week, I am still 2 cm dilated, 50% effaced, and the baby's head is still "right there". My doctor has given me permission to have this baby any day now (I hope the baby heard him!) However, if we have not had the baby by Monday the 26th our doctor would like to schedule an induction for that week...most likely the 28th, when I will be 40 weeks 1 day. He said we could wait until November 3rd to schedule an induction but realistically, it's easier to do before the baby gets too big and that a lot more complications can arise when the baby is overdue by too long. I have mixed feelings!!!! I hope that the baby will get here before I have to make a decision. I really don't agree with inductions but at the same time, I feel I will be able to sleep easier at night knowing that if this baby doesn't come by Monday, then he will come Wednesday, happy and healthy (YIKES!!!). (Our family has a history of GIANT babies....so lets hope this one is still the 6 1/2 pounds the doctor was predicting!)

So until then, I am doing everything short of shaking this baby out!!! I have continued with my walking and am now bouncing on a yoga ball playing "Katamari" (its an amazing game, I am hoping the visualization of growing my katamari from 1-10cm will be enough to make my cervix do the same!) and am headed in search of some spicy spicy food!!!

Third Trimester Tantrums

Pregnant women are already a force to be reckoned with but if you encounter an almost 8-month pregnant woman, sweltering in the 100 degree weather, with 20 pounds of baby weight and swollen ankles--RUN AWAY AS FAST AS YOU CAN!!!!

I have been very grateful to have had such an easy pregnancy- free of any major problems, symptoms, or the emotional roller coaster that many complain about. However, the last three weeks have made me feel like I belong in a mental institution because in one minute I not only suffer from multiple personality disorder, schizophrenia, and bipolar disorder, but I have also become the Queen of Passive Agressiva!

I am hot, cranky, angry at my husband for not getting me ice cream and then angry that he did bring me ice cream because my ankles are already swollen enough. I don't want to be touched but two seconds later I am mad because Dale is sitting three feet away from me. One minute I want to nap, the next I am roaring to clean the house. I am mad at Dale for having a beer, but the next I am encouraging it. I am a basket case! All this compounded with the slurry of visitors that we've had, the 100 degree days, and the mere thought that I am back to work full-time next week is enough to make me cry or laugh or scream, depending on the mood.

Poor Dale has to suffer through every tantrum and he does so graciously and patiently. His favorite phrases: "Yes, dear" "You were right, I was wrong. " "I don't know honey, what do you want to do?" and my personal favorite "Its all about you, you are the pregnant one."

But even he sometimes loses his cool after a million "yes, dears" which only perpetuates my hysteria. A typical night for us goes like this:

me: "What can I do for you?"
Dale: "Nothing." He knows that the real question is what can HE do for me!
me: "I want to make you happy, you always do stuff for me."
Dale: "I am fine." Still pondering the real question.
me: "No really, what do you want? Do you want to watch a movie? TV?"
Dale: "Yeah, whatever, we can watch a movie." Knowing that we will not watch a movie now that he has said this.
me: "I am too tired to watch a movie, maybe I will just go to bed." Thinking Dale will come and lay down with me to.
Dale: "I am not ready to lay down, go on without me."
me: "Hummmph." Heads to bed angry. Dale follows a few seconds later and lays down next to his now sobbing wife.
Dale: "What can I do for you?" Realizing he should have just asked in the beginning and saved himself the trouble.

I recognize the illogical nature of this episode and yet it still happens, every night! I don't even want to be friends with my pregnant self right now, let alone be married to me! So bless you Dale, for all the hard work you put in to this. I am sorry for all the tantrums, confusing conversations, and selfish moments that you endure from me. You are the true hero in this relationship and clearly deserving of one of those coffee mugs that reads "world's best dad".

Move over! Pregnant lady on a bike!

What started as a somewhat dark and dismal day with a rain shower and thunder storm miraculously turned in to a beautiful and cool 70 degrees with clean blue skies lightly dotted with a few fluffy white clouds. Of course, my new 3 -wheel bike was squeaking in the garage begging to be let out of its cage.

I needed to go to the store anyways to pick up chicken broth for a batch of corn chowder that I was making and rather than drive (and risk losing my parking spot!!!) I packed up the bike, put Emma in the basket and took off for an adventure.

We were only headed to Safeway which is about a mile from our house, however, the only way to get there is either crossing a tall bridge, riding uphill, riding under a bridge with cars flying by, or taking the rather roundabout pedestrian bridge over the railroad. Considering safety, traffic, and sidewalks I decided to take the pedestrian bridge. There was no way I could make it up the whole thing, so I ended up pushing the bike up the path, feeding Emma cookies the whole way to make sure she stayed in the basket. This was really rather amusing to passerbys as they all chuckled at the site.

We made it to Safeway and not having a heavy duty lock for my bike I made it a quick trip for fear that someone would not only make off with my bike but an awesome dog. Of course, I came out to see Emma laying peacefully in the sun, still attached to the bike.

Armed with groceries, a banana-chip eating dog, and 15 pounds of purely visible baby weight, I set on my path for home. I never had to stop at a stop sign, cars just stopped and let me cross the street! This was a relief as once I stop its hard to get going again!

Of course, I made my way up the roundabout, over the railroad tracks and started my descent down, this time deciding that I would ride the bike down instead of pushing it. People must of seen me coming because I started down the windy path, catching quite a breeze, to see 15 people lined up at the bottom waiting to head up! I am pregnant, not plague ridden or a disaster on wheels, but secretly I wanted to shout at the top of my lungs, MOVE OVER, PREGNANT LADY COMING THROUGH!!!!

However, I refrained, and continued on my journey home, still chuckling at all the people lined up waiting for me, my dog, groceries, and giant pregnant belly to pass them on my adult-sized tricycle. Of course, when I got home, the baby started kicking me as though to show his displeasure with my pleasure ride.

I hope this corn chowder was worth the trip. I wish you could have seen it.

I peed my pants!!!!

I love being pregnant. I love waking up every morning and staring at my growing belly...even those bastard stretch marks are starting to grow on me (literally). It has been an adjustment though. My clothes no longer fit, my shirts are all too short and my belly shows. My pants haven't been buttoned since March but now they are barely able to make it over my hips, so I have started wearing skirts and dresses but even that wont last long. Sleeping a straight hours is impossible as I wake up to pee at 2, 5, and 7 am. It is all a joy. However, the one thing I cant forgive is a weak bladder.

Last week Dale and I were hiking with the dog. She was sniffing gopher holes a hundred yards away as we walked up the trail. We called her name and she looked up and booked it up the trail...the wrong way! Maybe she has poor eye site maybe she forgot where we were, whatever it was we just watched her book it around the corner. All of sudden she stops, turns around, sees us and comes running towards us with her tongue hanging out of her mouth. What a dummy!!! I laughed so hard I peed my pants. I am 23 years old and I peed my pants. Thanks baby. Happy belated mother's day.

Dale laughed so hard. He sat there grinning at the edge of trail making fun of my potty dance. He jokingly suggested we carry extra undies or get Depends.

What's worse, is that we were in the kitchen talking when all of a sudden I sneezed. Tinkle, tinkle. I couldn't hide that one as I was already parading around in my underwear. Now every time we leave the house Dale asks if I packed my spare undies.

This has me further convinced that we are having a boy. Certainly, no lady of mine would ever let it just fly out anywhere. We already know boys pee when you least expect it, anywhere and everywhere, even on the video camera (thanks Sam!).

We had no luck finding out the sex yet. This last appointment was full of blood tests, screening for genetic disorders and gestational diabetes. We are not worried but will nonetheless get the results in a few weeks. We have an appointment June 11 and hopefully then our baby will reveal itself. Until then, I guess I will be anxiously wandering around town with spare undies in my purse.

Some Good Pregnancy Movies

My husband is working all weekend so I rented some good pregnancy movies! If you have some time, check them out! Also, if you have other suggestion, let us all know!
10. For Keeps?
Yes, there were teen pregnancies before Juno. Back in 1988, when Molly Ringwald was still an ‘80s It girl and John Hughes’ muse, she shocked everyone by playing a high school senior named Darcy who gets pregnant, gets married and tries to make it. Such drama.

Best line: “I'm pregnant. Can you pass the turnips?”--Darcy
9. Junior
Oh, Arnold, what possessed you? As scientist Dr. Alex Hesse who, as part of a fertility research project, agrees to carry a pregnancy in his own body, the Schwarzenegger mostly pulls it off. Still, what a bold career move.

Best line: “Does my body disgust you?”--Alex
8. Father of the Bride 2
In the delightful Father of the Bride, Steve Martin’s George Banks has to reluctantly give away his darling daughter in marriage, so the logical step for Bride 2 would be for said daughter to get pregnant thrust George into grandfather-hood. Except in this scenario, Banks’ lovely wife (Diane Keaton) also gets pregnant at the same time. Oy vey!

Best line: “Now, going to the movies, that'll be economical: one child, two seniors, thanks.”--George
7. Nine Months
The whole nine yards from the male perspective--in this case a selfish commitment-phobe, played by Hugh Grant, who realizes he might have to change his lifestyle for better or much, much worse when he finds out his longtime girlfriend (Julianne Moore) is pregnant. Sound familiar?

Best line:
“I'm ten days late.”--Rebecca
“And there's no way you could have had it and just not noticed?”--Samuel

6. Waitress
Keri Russell plays a very unhappily married waitress/pie-maker extraordinaire who is none too pleased to find out she’s pregnant. Of course, things happen for a reason and her mind starts to change, especially when she starts an affair with her obstetrician (Nathan Fillion).

Best line: “Dear Baby, I hope someday somebody wants to hold you for 20 minutes straight and that's all they do. They don't pull away. They don't look at your face. They don't try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight, without an ounce of selfishness in it.”--Jenna

5. She's Having a Baby
This is John Hughes’ take on the whole concept of parenthood, as experienced by a yuppie couple, Jake and Kristy Briggs (Kevin Bacon and Elizabeth McGovern). Being young, they are perhaps a bit unprepared for the full reality of it all--but that’s when it gets fun.

Best line: “And in the end, I realized that I took more than I gave, I was trusted more than I trusted, and I was loved more than I loved. And what I was looking for was not to be found but to be made.”--Jake Briggs

4. Baby Mama
Tina Fey hits the nail on the head, playing a single, successful women, who is told her uterus is too hostile to have a child, and so goes the surrogacy route--except she doesn’t expect to be saddled with working class moocher Angie Ostrowski (Amy Poehler) as her baby mama. Ah well, it all turns out OK in the end.

Best line: “Can I just spray a little PAM down there right before the baby comes out?”--Angie.

3. Knocked UpA classic case of the “Ooops!” When total slacker Ben (Seth Rogen) inadvertently hooks up with hottie Alison (Katherine Heigl) for one night of drunken pleasure, they don’t expect the results of a misused (or NOT used) condom. Yep, knocked up indeed.

Best line: “You know how they say to never drink and drive? Well, never drink and bone.”--Ben



2. Rosemary's Baby
OK, probably not the most enlightening or happy view of pregnancy but nonetheless important to note for this feature since poor Mia Farrow goes through hell, quite literally, during her first pregnancy--carrying the child of SATAN, that is.

Best line: “He chose you, honey! From all the women in the world to be the mother of his only living son!”--Minnie Castevet (Ruth Gordon)
1. Juno
As unwanted teenage pregnancies go, Juno (Ellen Page) proves it doesn't have to be a totally unhappy experience. She knows she can’t keep the baby, so she finds the right set of parents (Jennifer Garner, Jason Bateman), and although things don’t necessarily go as planned, Juno handles it with a fair amount of wit, charm and warmth.

Best line: “Yea, if I could just have the thing and give it to you now, I totally would. But I'm guessing it looks probably like a sea monkey right now and we should let it get a little cuter.”
Some other fave's:
Where The Heart Is, 2000
Saved, 2004
How to Deal, 2003

ENJOY!!!

The 8th week emotional roller coaster

I am almost 8 weeks along and I am on the emotional roller coaster. I cant stop crying. I hit my head on the closet door and I cried for 20 minutes. I heard a radio ad about pet care and I cried. I started to watch a movie and I cried before it started. We have our first appointment on Thursday and I am extremely nervous. I am so afraid that something will be wrong and I cant shake that feeling. I know its just first-time mom jitters...I will update you more on Thursday, until then, I thought you would enjoy this.

Ps. I cried while reading this...and its not even sad!

Q: Am I more likely to get pregnant if my husband wears boxers or briefs?
A: You'll have an even better chance if he doesn't wear anything at all

Q: What do you call a pregnancy that begins while using birth control?
A: A misconception

Q: What is the easiest way to figure out exactly when I got pregnant?
A: Have sex just once a year

Q: What is the most common pregnancy craving?
A: For men to be the ones who get pregnant

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college

Q: My breasts, rear end & even my feet have grown. Is there anything that gets smaller during pregnancy?
A: Yes, your bladder

Q: My wife is 5 months pregnant and so moody that she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a Playboy centerfold?
A. Nothing, if the pregnant woman's husband knows what's good for him

Q: What position should the baby be in during the ninth month of pregnancy?
A: Head down, pressing firmly on your bladder

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant

Q: What is colic?
A: A reminder for new parents to use birth control