Dear Kannon:: Merry Christmas

Dear Kannon,

Last night at about 8:40 I went into your room to feed your brother and you promptly jumped up in your crib and signed "all done".  I said to you, "all done with sleep?  I dont think so?" and laid you back down.  You jumped up again and shook your hands harder and shook your head no and signed "all done" again.  I gave you a book and let you rest.  Then I put you back in your crib, laid you down, and kissed your head, and you signed "more". 

More what?  More kisses?  More reading? Or more sleep? 

I closed the door and thought you are a big boy now.  You eat giant meals, you play with blocks and trucks, and even a light saber.  You walk down the stairs like a big boy.  You walk to the car by yourself.  You demand to things all on your own.  You are very independent. You are now 14 months old and showed me today what a toddler you are. 

So, I thought, the best early Christmas gift I could give you was your own space.  Your freedom to roam.  Your room. (Its not just your room, you share with Clark).  We set up a full size mattress for you, put some simple white sheets on it, and grabbed your favorite quilt.  You quickly grabbed 3 more blankets, your monkey, your sippy cup, and your turtle and you laid down.  Apparently, you didn't have a big enough party, because you got up a few minutes later and grabbed a book, your nighttime dog, and your seahorse.  And then it happened.  You slept.  Peacefully. 

I can't wait for tomorrow to see you wake up.  No longer are you bound by the rails and bars of your crib.  You have books, animals, and blankets waiting to greet you in the morning.  I hope fore once that we are awoken by laughter instead of screams.  You are big boy.  Now its time to see the real you.

Merry Christmas.


Love,
Mommy

Dear Kannon:: 1-Year Old

Watch Video Here

To My Wild Child, Kannon

It is hard to believe that one year ago I was rocking through contractions, embracing labor, and experiencing a rush of doubt, uncertainty, fear, and love.  Will I be a good mother? What will you look like? What kind of child will you be?  But with each 'what if' I grew more and more anxious to meet your little face.  At 9:24pm on Wednesday October 28, 2009 I became a mother and my life was forever changed---by you. 

You were everything that we dreamed.  Perfect, peaceful, and content.  You were placed on my chest and I fell in love.  Your soft hair, fleshy skin, and sweet smell enveloped me.  We spent hours just gazing at you silent but proud and totally in love.

It wasn't long before you showed us your personality.  You fought the swaddle, preferred independence, and spent hours observing the world around you.  You are creature of habit, you like your routine, and let us know (quite loudly!) if we have skipped a step in your day.  Your smile is charming, your laugh contagious, and your eyes offer wisdom beyond your year. 

We were nervous about becoming parents but you encouraged us and supported us in our journey.  Together we learn , grow, and fall more in love. We watch you smile, laugh, and giggle and we know that we are doing our job.  We gave you life but you have showed us how to live. 

We are not perfect.  We learn every day.  We sometimes skip diaper changes, let you cry just a few more minutes, or give you leftovers for dinner.  Sometimes, we tempt you and let you go for those stairs or encourage you to walk just a bit further and then watch you fall.  But still you love us and each time, you stand up and hold yourself together.

You are strong, wild, independent, free spirited and crave adventure.  

I never thought my favorite thing on Saturday would be rolling on the floor barking just to hear you laugh.  I never thought I would be eating sweet potatoes every day just because they are your favorite.  I never thought that I would be a mother to two boys, let alone one! 

With each passing day you grow and learn even more.  With each passing day we learn more about life, love, and parenthood.  You are the greatest gift the world has given me.  Not only were you born on your birth day, but I came alive and finally became a mother on your birth day.  It has only been a year but I feel that we have known each other lifetimes.  Remember always, to smile, be silly, and love on this momentous day.

Love Always,
Mama